Bored but busy

Bored but busy sounds like opposites.  At times I feel like I'm caged without any freedom, hence the boredom, but at the same time I keep busy.  If I slowdown and begin to think too much then all types of emotions rush in and I begin the self doubts.  I'm amazed with the self doubts because a couple of years ago there were none, I was confident what I was doing was correct.  A lot has happened is the two years and intellectually I understand how it can happen, but I don't want to believe it of myself.  I'd love to be able to just drift and let life just happen.  In some ways I have. I guess I'm too responsible to or perhaps too much of a control freak to let go completely.  Someday I'd like to be able to take a car or motor home and bum around the country for a few months, stopping when I wanted or keep going until I wanted to stop. It sounds like total freedom...perhaps.