People speak often that there is a grand plan for each person. If that is so then what is the purpose of my plan. First, Louie is diagnosed with a brain tumor that leaves him with paralysis on his right side. After many months of hospitalization he comes home to be taken care of by Sharon and myself. Everyday he tells us that he wants to die because he doesn't want to live like this. Next, Sharon commits suicide and the pain over her death is overwhelming. Then Becky loses her home and most of her worldly possessions and moves in with us. Not only is she grieving for her sister but also for the life she once has. For years she has suffered with an eating disorder and it becomes acute. It becomes a death watch and twice she's hospitalized. Of course between these major events, there are the minor events, such as , the water heater flooding the house, the plumbing backing up or the fence falling down in a wind storm. Finally there is the loss of a friend, not by death but by choice and I'm not sure why.
If there is a grand plan then I ask why? Is there a lesson to be learned? Is it my hell on Earth? What did I do to have to serve these consequences? Am I just unlucky? I don't understand!
Or is there no grand plan and life just happens. Whatever it is I'm ready to be happy, but how? I tried and that backfired on me and actually made me more miserable than before.
Life definitely isn't fair!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment