Guilt

I wonder if everyone feels guilt as keenly as I do.  Surgery on my foot is something I can no longer put off.  The choices I have are to put Louie into a nursing home or hire a caretaker for him.  My understanding is I shouldn't walk on my foot for 3-4 weeks, I can only go to the restroom and get something to eat.  Louie is against both options and says he'll just stay in his bed during that time...yeah right!  Can hardly believe he'd say that but I guess his brain surgery took out his good sense.  I feel guilty having to find alternate care for him.  This time I have to put myself first and except for Brian the kids are being asses.  They think I should put Louie in a home...at times I think they're right and then there's more guilt.

I write this blog to get my thoughts out and try to sift through them to make a reasonable decision.  Why does life have to be so hard?  I'm not asking to go on vacation for a couple of weeks, I'm having surgery for Christ sake.  Just another huddle...maybe in my next life I'll come back as a horse then the huddles will be easier to get over (just a little humor).