Monday, January 28, 2013
As I continue my journey called life I wonder what is coming next. I've experienced all types of emotions recently from sadness to happiness, from disappointment to hopefulness, from anger to acceptance. Never a day passes that I'm not bombarded with many different emotions and doubts. I'm still in the grieving process and I'd like to someday soon not be reminded of my loss so often. It's like being stalked and never knowing when it's ugly head will appear. A part of my heart will always be broken and as the days turn into weeks and months the sharpness of the pain grows less. I have found happiness again for the most part. Strange but I also have discovered that I have also found some of the insecurity I once had experienced. My journey now is to heal myself and go on to experience happiness more. I'm not sure how but perhaps the next chapter will be the best, if not then I'll have to design another that'll be even better.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Plans
Plans are made, plans are changed. There are many things I want to do and some of these things are still in the planning stage. Now to implement some of them. First plan was to change the backyard from a storage yard grass and some plants into a place to entertain. Even though I have entertained out there I want to have a showier place. So far, I have a small retaining wall built and the slope at the back of the yard has most of the landscaping in, which needs to be finished. Further plans include a raised bed for veggies, pavers to extend the patio, set up the barrel fountain, and paint the bench. Long term is put in more plants and level out the grass.
The front yard is in demo mode with pulling out of existing plants, replanting them in other areas. Next will be enlarging the garden areas, replanting, and deciding the ground cover. Perhaps I should put in a sprinkler system, but not sure I have the energy (another consideration).
It'll probably be the end of summer before all the changes in the yards are completed. Then there are plans that include hiring people to do. Re stuccoing the house and having the trim painted. Inside the house walls should be repaired, all the knicks and bruises from wheelchair collisions, and then painted. And finally, new carpet!
Someday, I'd like to sit back and enjoy the completion of my plans!
The front yard is in demo mode with pulling out of existing plants, replanting them in other areas. Next will be enlarging the garden areas, replanting, and deciding the ground cover. Perhaps I should put in a sprinkler system, but not sure I have the energy (another consideration).
It'll probably be the end of summer before all the changes in the yards are completed. Then there are plans that include hiring people to do. Re stuccoing the house and having the trim painted. Inside the house walls should be repaired, all the knicks and bruises from wheelchair collisions, and then painted. And finally, new carpet!
Someday, I'd like to sit back and enjoy the completion of my plans!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Happiness Bubble
The future cannot be predicted, but if I could look into a crystal ball all I really would want to see is happiness. A comfortable home, lots of laughter, someone to love and be loved by, some traveling, and a family that is content all would be in my happiness bubble.
To achieve these things there is a lot of work to be done especially in the area of comfortable home. In the last two years my home has been rearranged so many times and never to my satisfaction. The backyard needs to have gardens established that are beautiful and sweet smelling. Paving blocks should be laid down to make a place to sit and relax with potted plants bordering it. Inside walls need resurfacing and painting, new carpets, and general repairs. Outside the house needs stuccoing and painting. The front yard needs new landscaping. Sounds like a lot of work. Then, it's time to entertain and let the laughter begin!
Someone to love and be loved by, includes holding hands and growing old with. Not only having a lover, but also having a best friend. Being able to cuddle with someone and knowing that person always puts me first. Long chats or total silence with neither being uncomfortable, but companionable. Yes, I want a fairy tale!
I've always wanted to see all the states in the US and explore all that is unique about each one. There are many ways to travel so it could be by car, motor home, airplane, or train. To be able to take my time travel, now that I'm retired would be pleasant.
Finally to have a contented family. Tall order in this family. So many changes would have to be made in each person's life. I wonder if I'll see it in my lifetime.
My happiness bubble is already showing signs of being brighter. Only hope the powers greater than myself will begin to help with my quest for happiness and start the changes that are necessary to achieve it.
To achieve these things there is a lot of work to be done especially in the area of comfortable home. In the last two years my home has been rearranged so many times and never to my satisfaction. The backyard needs to have gardens established that are beautiful and sweet smelling. Paving blocks should be laid down to make a place to sit and relax with potted plants bordering it. Inside walls need resurfacing and painting, new carpets, and general repairs. Outside the house needs stuccoing and painting. The front yard needs new landscaping. Sounds like a lot of work. Then, it's time to entertain and let the laughter begin!
Someone to love and be loved by, includes holding hands and growing old with. Not only having a lover, but also having a best friend. Being able to cuddle with someone and knowing that person always puts me first. Long chats or total silence with neither being uncomfortable, but companionable. Yes, I want a fairy tale!
I've always wanted to see all the states in the US and explore all that is unique about each one. There are many ways to travel so it could be by car, motor home, airplane, or train. To be able to take my time travel, now that I'm retired would be pleasant.
Finally to have a contented family. Tall order in this family. So many changes would have to be made in each person's life. I wonder if I'll see it in my lifetime.
My happiness bubble is already showing signs of being brighter. Only hope the powers greater than myself will begin to help with my quest for happiness and start the changes that are necessary to achieve it.
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