Dancing a Happy Dance

Before writing this I need to knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, rub a rabbit's foot, etc, etc. For the first time in a long while everything is going well.  Austin is going off to a college of his choice.  Liz has a full time teaching job and has moved into her first apartment.  Becky just was hired as a controller of a new company and seems positive about the job. Brian is also doing well and will be teaching second grade next school year.   Louie is doing ok considering his situation and also seems positive.  Friday I have my surgery and hopefully will have less pain in the near future.

Perhaps our family is on the road to recovery...hip! hip! hurray!  It's time to enjoy and celebrate our lives.

Just Wondering

Just wondering why? Why do I live in a cuckoo's nest?  Have I put myself in this position?  Perhaps.  When strange things happen I no longer think they're strange. I say to myself, "That's just my life!"  Of course it has a lot to do with the people around me.  Louie has dementia and not sure what's reality.  Very hard to live with the ups and downs of the disease.  Then Becky with her eating disorder and I can see why she has a diagnose of bipolar also...she's also up and down.  Just like a yoyo!  I could write a book about the last few years, where did my normal life go to?  I want normal back.  I want boring back.  I don't want to be a freak!

Then I look at my grandchildren and I'm so glad they're living a fairly normal life.  Liz having her apartment where she can escape with Austin.  Best thing for both of them.  Austin will be off to UCLA in the fall and that should be a normal living environment.

Hopefully, my life will be normal again, but when...soon I hope.  I have high hopes, just like that damn ram (like in the song).

Why?

Why am I the responsible one?  Why am I the one to have to make the hard decisions?  Why does it seem like I'm the one to do all the work? Hard answers to find...perhaps I need to delegate the responsibilities more.  Is it my fault by acting too much like a take charge person?  My day is coming.  Too tired to do all anymore.