Broken

Our family is so broken!  It's hard to believe that one person's death can fracture a family so much. Everyday there's a feeling that something is missing...is it joy? completeness?  We've never been a perfect family, but we've always have had cohesiveness and that seems to be gone.  I'm not sure we'll ever be the complete again.  Perhaps it's not only Sharon's death, but in a way we've also have lost Louie and Becky is teetering at the edge of a cliff.  How does one survive?  It's living a half life.  There are moments of joy, especially when interacting with Austin.  Listening to him sharing what he did that day, teaching him to drive, going to the pet store to buy crickets for a science experiment, having him explain  a game and of course I'm clueless ever after all his work to teach me the rules...LOL.  There has to be a way back to happiness, I pray I find it soon.  It's someplace hidden beneath my broken heart.