Full Moon

Never again will I look at the full moon with innocent eyes again or relish the wonder of it. Four months ago I observed the full moon with tears of loss. My precious daughter had decided to end her life. Upon finishing talking with the police, medical examiner, and a plethra of others, I walk outside to look up at the full moon. Each full moon since has reminded me of the events of that night and I say "I love you, Sharon" as I stare at it's shining splendor of light. It still amazes me how someone with so much to live for could have so much pain to give up on life. She, like the full moon, seemed to shine with splendor. In my heart I know nothing can change that moment when she decided to end the pain, but it still hurts unbearably. I keep hearing the words, "Time heals", but in some ways it becomes more difficult. Lonliness, loss becomes sharper, even though it's less often. Perhaps the next full moon will arrive with less painful thoughts. I read that the emotionally painful experiences that a person encounters helps to clear their soul for their entrance into heaven. What a beautiful thought!