Life Goes On

As 2011 began little did I know the challenges this year would bring. Becky is still in her program and has made slow progress to getting her life back on track. It's been an uphill battle and can only pray she'll find peace one day soon. Sharon has been making great progress, but I'm almost afraid to hope. Taking care of her Dad during the day seems to have help her gain her self-esteem back. Louie is making progress in both his physical challenges and his mental. Elizabeth and Austin are both in surprisingly good places considering what their mothers have been up to. All I can say is they are extremely resilient.

Friday I had a big surprise when Louie agreed to continue seeing a therapist. Before his surgery he would have never agreed to it, so perhaps some good has come out of this situation. I believe he was depressed before the brain tumor was discovered, but he wouldn't have admitted that.

Finally I'm coming to terms with retiring. Friday was my big "AHH!" day. Went to a baby shower for my team partner and received the news that the principal is making grade level changes out of spite. Boy! Am I glad I won't be there next year. The atmosphere will be tense to say the least, if not all out war. Not a good place to be for man or beast.

My list of things to do after I retire have changed drastically. I thought I'd be able to travel and have more freedom, but under the circumstances it seems to be the opposite. I'll have to put my energies into doing around the house. I'm planning on starting a raised bed vegetable garden, doing a lot of couponing, and working on my family tree. Of course, I can always paint the house inside and out, and a million other maintanance things at home. Also I'm looking into resprite care so occasionally I can get out to do something for me.

Never realized that having a handicap person to care for can completely drain the life out of a person. BUT, I'm a survivor! Now I have to completely rethink the rest of my life...mmm! Next post will include those thoughts.

Another Day

Today Sharon, Louie and I went to see the neurosurgeon. Basically he told Louie it was up to him if he was going to recover. In 6 weeks Louie is to have another MRI to see what the tumor is doing. If it's growing he may need chemo and radiation to stop it or he can choose not to do anything and die, but it will be a long time coming. Possibly he may end up in a nursing home not able to move or speak before finally dying. Prognoses doesn't sound good without serious interventions. This SUCKS!!! Big time. It's like living with a time bomb that slowly detonates and then slowly blows up in slow motion. I can't give advice on this.

Presently, Louie is in a wheelchair and very frustrated with the whole situation. Of course, he tries to vent on the closest person which happens to be me. My first thought is to escape, but I know I can't and won't. I've cried a river but that doesn't help, it only makes my nose run. Damn! Damn! Damn!