Endings & Beginnings

2010 is coming to an end, thank God! It has been a long difficult year and I'll be glad to see it gone. Of course, like all of life it had the good and the bad. Some of the good has been "A wonderful trip to Florida" which included time with my granddaughter, a face-to-face meeting with a dear old friend, numerous adventures, and many laughs. Louie's diabetes is more in control and I didn't kill my boss!

If I learned one thing this year it was tolerance with a touch of patience. On the work site not only did I have to deal with an incompetent principal, but had a difficult class of students. Everyday the stresses were almost overwhelming and I got to the point I no longer wanted to go to work. This in it self was devastating because I love teaching and have worked hard to be the best I can in my profession. But, the silver lining is I've learned to ignore my boss and my students are showing growth in maturity if not academics. Some things are within your sphere of influence to change and some aren't. The wise person has to know when to fold and cut their losses.

My daughters have both put my emotions on a roller coaster. I have tried being the best parent I know how to be and I have questioned my parenting abilities to the extreme. My conclusion is a person can only do his/her best and when it comes to his/her children a person needs to remember that even our children have "free will." All the teaching and training given to a child is only a foundation to have a good life. That child then goes out into the world and has decisions to make using not only their prior learnings but also using the influences of everyday life. Also personality of that child influences their choices and their path in life. So consequently, a parent can only hope that a child makes more good decisions than bad. The only way to avoid this is to never have children, but then a person would never know the joy of parenthood.

Above are the endings and now for the beginnings.

2011: My Hopes & Dreams for the New Year
On Monday Sharon goes into inpatient rehab and hopefully will come out stronger. Becky is finishing up her program and will be re-entering a normal lifestyle. Liz will be finishing student teaching and will be entering the job market. Austin will continue his high school years and will have mostly AP classes. My dream for the coming year includes peace and normality. I no longer want to ride the roller coaster that 2010 has had me on and I just want to relax. Thank God for good friends that support me daily and a strong positive nature. I always see my cup as half full and without that I wouldn't have survived this long. My positive side says that when your at the bottom the only way is up. Now, my neck has a crick in it from looking up. Hope the terrain level out before my neck is stuck in this position! Peace & Love to all!

It's been a VERY long time between blog entries... Finally ended the school year in June and started summer vacation. Elizabeth and I went to Florida for her graduation trip. Landing in Orlando I was surprised to see so many bodies of water, ponds, lakes, ditches, and other places full of water. Liz kept saying that they probably had alligators in them. Hmm, a clue to her fears!

DisneyWorld was our first stop and we spent 5 days there. One downfall was the heat. Kept hearing it was unusual for that time of the year for it to be so hot. Seems that when Liz and I go to the east coast together that suddenly, the weather turns hot. Not sure if that's good karma or bad. Had an amazing, but tiring time at DW. Much to Liz's surprise, Liz was able to get me in the pool often. Another highlight was I met a friend that I hadn't seen in almost 45 years and had a nice visit.

From DW we drove to Key West and were able to see Florida via the turnpike and roadways. It was awesome driving from the mainland and then hopping from island to island until we got to Key West. To be able to stand and view both the Gulf and the Atlantic Ocean was inspiring. We saw many spots of interest, such as, Hemingway's house and favorite bar, the point that is 90 miles from Cuba, and the coral reef to name a few. Also indulged in many drinks to ward off the heat...hehhe! Surprising was the beach. Even though it was beautiful, it was full of rocks and coral, so getting into the water was difficult. Perhaps I'm spoiled with sandy beaches, since I live in Paradise. Upon leaving Key West, Liz was pulled over and given a ticket for speeding...Ooops!

Last leg of our journey was to Miami, again, we island hopped back to the mainland and Liz got to experience driving in a violent thunder storm. What an adventure! Mother Nature is...can not think of a word to explain her magnificence. Finally, we arrived in Miami Beach and was pleasantly surprised by our hotel. Liz had gone online and booked it at a great price. Our room had 2 full walls of glass overlooking Miami. Awesome sight and Mother Nature performed for us each night with lightning! We had our own light show. Our hotel had bth a pool and beach access to the Atlantic so of course, we jumped from one to the other. We stayed in Miami for 4 days and by that point we were exhausted. Miami was okay, but I wouldn't go there again.

While in Miami we went to the Everglades. Must remember to never take Liz to the wilderness. We stopped at a ranger station to get sovereigns and info about the park. The ranger told us about an alligator nest that was just off the pathway we were going to walk. I took that was as "that's cool!", but Liz took it as a warning. After walking about a half mile and seeing some wildlife, I saw a baby alligator swimming about 30 feet away in a pond. Well, Liz just knew that the mother was behind it and we were going to be eaten. She grabbed my arm and said, "We're leaving!" Since she held the car keys, I had no choice. Then, we decided to stop for lunch, the first place had a sign that said alligator, frog legs, and catfish. Well, after exited the parking lot rather quickly Liz just wrinkled her nose and exclaimed, "Yuck!" The next place we stopped, thank goodness, didn't have a sign advertising the menu. I DID order alligator nuggets! We sat next to a window that looked out upon a pond of water that was connected to where the airboats went on tours of the Everglades. It was full of lilypads and an alligator swam by close to our seats. Liz said she wasn't leaving the restaurant. Suddenly, two rangers, who were eating lunch announced they had to go to make sure the alligator got across the road okay. Liz quickly got to the car and we were on our way back to Miami!

Our adventure home is another story for another day. Moral of the story is never go into the wildness with Liz!!! Now, I need to go back to the Everglades with someone who has an adventurous heart.

I kissed a frog

Once upon a time I kissed a frog. Slowly, very slowly he turned into a prince. Prince and I lived a good life and had children. Again slowly, the prince began to change. My question is will the prince turn back into a frog or a toad? Time will tell. My fairy tale for the day! LOL

Love, Kids, Heartache

As you can surmise from the title, my heart is breaking. When my children were little I thought it was hard to keep them from experiencing hurts. Unfortunately, I have discovered that when they're grown it's much harder. As a parent, you want more from life for your children than you had. Now, I don't think that's possible for many reasons. One being that they are different from you. Another is they have to make their own mistakes and find their own way back. Yet another is they live in a different time. Yes, somethings can be made better, like money and you can love them unconditionally. But when they make the big errors in judgement, only they can rectify it. Those are the times I find the most distressing. I want to fix it, but I cannot. This breaks my heart to have to stand by and watch my children struggle. Also there is quilt. I ask myself the "what if" questions...what did I do wrong? Are there answers and if there are, can a person go back and fix it? I think not. You can only go ahead and do your best.

On the bright side, when a heart is broken, love can glue it back together. Even though, parenting is the hardest job, it is also the most rewarding. To be a parent you need a thick skin and the knowledge that tomorrow will be better. I'm praying tomorrow comes quickly.

Just thinking...oh so dangerous!

As I watch and listen to the world around me, I realize that men do not do well without women. What I mean by this statement is that men seem not to make many friends, they depend on the women in their lives to create friendships. Of course, this doesn't especially pertain to single men. Once married, many men seem to have friends through their wives and when they retire or lose their wives they are like fish out of water. Women on the other hand, have many friends and seem to run in packs. We don't even go to the restroom alone. I wonder if this is due to the what role society has cast the male into or do we women influence our males by taking care of them too well. Another point to ponder...mmm.

Leader or Ruler

What has happened to all the leaders in the world? Have they all become extinct like the dinosaurs? It seems at work all my boss wants is her own way and damn the consequences. Unfortunately, she's not the one that will be there when the ax falls. And it will fall. Then there's the governemnt it's being run in the same way. These people are rulers, not leaders. Leaders are people who first listen to others opinions and then they communicate their concerns and then leads the masses into coming to consensus. There were many great leaders and their names are debatable, but they seemed to have lived more than 20 years ago. Is today's generation just not ready to lead, only ready to rule? Will there come a time when the world will change back or are the leaders extinct as the dinosaurs are? Will the present population succeed in destroying, what the true leaders in the world have created. Everyday I see the world of education slowly turning into an institution they is not a pleasant place to be. Our kids are being asked to grow up and be something they're not ready to be. The world of the ruler is taking childhood away. It is demanding the child to take tests to earn money for the institution without concern to what the human child needs and deserves. Where will this insanity stop??? Or is it unstoppable? Only time will tell...

Winter

Many people who do not live in Southern California may dispute what the locals here call winter. It it our rainy season which is minute. Nine inches of rain a year is not much, but it is what we survive on and sometimes less. Today its raining and we may get 1/2 inch, which is enough for some flooding. As the sky darkens, I look through vacation pictures and daydream. Most of our vacations take place in the summer and I'm sure it has to do with timing. That's when I have my longest break from work. Last year I went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with my daughter and it was sensational. Gentle winds, warm sand and total relaxation was the highlights of the trip. Of course, there were also jello shooters, various drinks, and good food. Next trip is Disney World in Florida with my granddaughter and I'm looking forward to new travel adventures. My wandering wonderings are spectulating on what else does life hold. What will be my future adventures...umm!

More Wonderings...Friends

Recently, I received an e-mail poem about friends and it started me wondering. It stated that there were three types of friends, friends for seasons, friends for reasons, and lifetime friends. I pondered this and mostly I agree with it. As I think about all the different people I've called that special word, "friend", I begin to smile and the memories flow, much like a gently moving stream. Probably, I could name most of the people, but I'm sure, I have also forgotten the names of a few. When looking back over the 60+ years of my life, I've been blessed with many good people who I've met on my journey called life. I think I'd have to add 2 categories of friends, perhaps as a subtitle under lifetime friends. One would be consistent lifetime friends. These are the ones that are constantly in your life. The other would be weavers, which seem to come and go, but are always popping up when you least expect it. All friends are needed and make life just a little more pleasant. Another point about my friends is how different they are and I wonder if they ever met, how they would respond to each other. Also I wonder, how others view their friends. ??? Again, my wandering wonderings have me pondering life.

Wonderings about news reporting

As I watch or read the news I wonder who is reporting this and how accurate is the article. For example, global warming. There all two definate camps here. First, the one that truely believes that the human population is destroying the Earth and then the other one that is convinced that all the data collected about global warming is falsified. Perhaps, both are correct to a point. Increase in population would use more natural resources, such as air or water, but also the Earth is constantly changing. Now, how does the news media play into this? They report to increase viewership or readership. It's all about money. The more people that are interested in a newspaper or other news reporting agency the more that institution will gain monetarily. How does one define the term "news"? Is it fact or opinion? So my wonderings for today is how can a person know who to believe and how much muck must one tramp through to get to the truth? Mmm!

Love Comes in all Forms

When bored dream about past experiences..LOL

Break from school is nearing the 3rd week and I'm bored. Been looking through the past vacation pictures and viewed the photos from Hawaii. I've been cold all week even though the weather has been in the 60's. When looking at these photos I can almost feel the gentle, warm winds off of the Pacific and feel relaxed. Maybe this is my coping mechanicism, also called escape...LOL.

1/2/10 Conservative or Liberal

In the last few years, I've become more politically aware, thanks to a renewed friendship to a person who is wiser than me when it comes to politics. One question keeps coming up which is, "Are you a conservative or a liberal?" Pondering this has been a challenge that I have been debating for about 2 years. How can anyone say they are truly one or the other when looking at the definition of each word. If you define each term, there is black and white with no gray area. I'm a gray! Conservatives resist change and liberals embrace change. The gray in me says that change is good if that change is valuable for the majority, but only after careful deliberation of all aspects of the situation. Change is hard for me. I cannot embrace it. Hence, that is why I'm a conservative.

My definition of a conservative is a grown-up liberal. I believe most people start out as liberals and then with age and experience they change into conservatives. Remember the 60's when the young protested everything...the war, bras, abortion laws, parents. These were the liberals. Conservatives were the older generation.

Now at 60+ (boy does that sound old), I'm still protesting, but now its against liberalism. Things like Obama health care reform, buy outs, and governmental controls and changes. Don't get me wrong, I believe change is good, BUT does it have to be so far to the left or the right. I still believe in the Bible and the Constitution. Well, that is my wonderings for this day!

January 1, 2010

New year, new start. Title of this blog will also reflect what will be written. Often I wonder at the happenings around me and my thoughts just wander off, hence, the name. Why a blog...who knows. It sounds like a neat way to express myself and perhaps have people (friends, family) delve into my mind. Kind of like a ride on a magic carpet...scary and adventurous. Who am I? As you read perhaps you'll figure that out, but I ask you one thing...when you figure out who I am, please share it with me. LOL